Finding Rest...

We stay pretty busy. Especially since Monday through Friday I don't get home until nearly 6 p.m. Add on cooking, laundry, and quality time with my husband and Copper, and the day is done. Weekends are treasured, however they are rarely restful. Trips to Pooler or Savannah on Saturday, grocery shopping, then Church and family dinner that evening. Wash, rinse, repeat.

This weekend, or Saturday at least, it a bit different. James is off to Savannah early in the morning while I stay in bed, attempting to catch a few more moments of precious sleep after a night of tossing and turning. Insomnia doesn't take breaks, even on weekends. I gather my energy and tote myself off to Starbucks, one of my happy places, where I now sit and write. Read. Think. Something I don't have enough time for lately. Alone time to sit and contemplate and relax. James' idea of an awesome day off is spent running around or tearing up the backyard or starting the next big project, then having people over or doing all of the above with said people. And while that's nice on occasion, for me it is a bit exhausting. #hostess

For me, having nothing truly planned and having the freedom to lounge is bliss for me. Being able to take the time to sit at a coffee shop, write, relax, and then wander around town (if I want to) or go back to the house to relax is perfect. The guest room will be put back together at some point, Netflix or Hulu will take up part of the afternoon, and playing with Copper will take place at some point. But mostly, an unscheduled day where there is no pressure to be somewhere at sometime and jumping from one thing to another.

So as I sit here finishing my Flat White drink at Starbucks (not my normal drink) and wrapping up this blog, I think I shall wander over to TJ Maxx and a few other places....because it's the weekend and James is still out on an adventure in Savannah. #shopping

BTW, who are you cheering for in the fight tonight? Old-school or Irish? #datenight

XOXO
Ashley

Growing a Green Thumb

Freshly sprouted basil reaching towards the sunlight.

In the midst of creating a new home and wanting to make it as warm and as inviting as possible, I have decided to (once again) attempt to grow a green thumb. For those who may not understand, 'green thumb' is a term that refers to a person's natural ability to grow beautiful plants. My mother had a decent green thumb. I, however, do not.

She would toil away in her rose garden, her skin golden from hours spent in the sunshine. She said it was her time with God, and often where she would pray. On occasion, she would try to have me join in, wanting to share her love with me. I was not a fan of having spiders sprint across my hands, or tethering my skin with gloves, much less hacking away at weeds that were never ending.

In our rental there was a beautiful raised garden area, which I am proud to say I kept decently weeded, although Mother Nature can take credit for keeping my plants watered. I discovered that Snapdragons were quite hardy (who knew) and they are now on my list of favorite plants, simply because they didn't die under my care. Miniature roses, on the other hand, are best kept either inside, or at the store. They will die. Quickly.

On the day that everyone pitched in and moved us, I took a trip to Dollar General and bought a few items we needed. While there, I spotted a gorgeous yellow owl plant pot, and seeds to grow basil. I love fresh herbs, and have spent a pretty penny on them in the past with each trip to the grocery store. They add a nice zing of flavor to the dish, and I prefer them over dried spices in most recipes. Basil is among my top favorites, since I often cook Italian inspired dishes, so home it went and I planted it the day we moved in, in that nice yellow pot.

The pride I felt when the herb sprouted can only be rivaled by the pride I felt when I traveled to Hong Kong by myself for the first time. I felt accomplished, talented, and a bit mothering. The sproutlets are on the window sill in the sun room, and they stretch towards the sun from morning till night. Although still quite small, it has given me the courage I need to begin purchasing other food-items to grow.

Among this are the plants that are rumored to ward away pesky bugs that so often ruin a Georgia evening. Lemongrass, and rosemary are just a couple of the half dozen plants on my list to purchase (this weekend?) in order to place in colorful containers on our front porch, and in the back yard. We shall see if this works, and I will report about it later- with photos!

Also on the plant-to-do-list are some indoor friendly plants, such as spider-plants. I grew up with these and if my memory serves me correctly, they are quite low maintenance as well as easy to multiply. My only concern is i I merely place them on a plant stand, Copper will think they're convenient snacks.

So as you see, I have quite an ambitious plan for not being a natural when it comes to plants and things of nature. But I have hope, and a bit of faith. And James is super helpful on remembering to water when I so often forget.

So we shall see!

Celebrating New Chapters

 Copper, myself and James standing in front of our new home. June 2017

I believe sometimes the most important times in our lives are those spent with our closest friends. Those memories are the ones that will live on long after the trees fade and location change. This year has been creating new, great memories with James and I and our dearest friends. When we entered 2017, neither of us knew what would happen. I think our only hope is that our love would continue to grow and that we would be guided in wisdom to greater adventures.

And to that end, I say we definitely have, in ways that we didn't even imagine. We took the leap and bought our first home, a new adventure for both of us. With honey-colored floors, vaulted ceilings, and a sun-room perfect for growing herbs and studying Mandarin. In addition to our beautiful home, we also have a puppy, Copper. A gorgeous mix of Australian/German Shepherd and Husky mix. Although not the brightest pup, he is the sweetest and loves people of all ages, sizes and genders.

During this move, while some of our friends were out of town or too far away to be able to help, the ones that were there put forth 200 percent of their effort and really came through. From sun-up to sun-down, with a rented U-Haul trailer and several cars, half women and half men, we moved 25 miles away from the residence we had proudly called our home for the past year. Yet without the ability of painting, fixing, (pets), or overall adjustments to the home, it didn't ever quite feel like 'home sweet home'.

Now, we have color swatches on the kitchen wall, we are installing a beautiful flag pole to show our American pride, and we are quickly coming up with a plan on how to transform the backyard into a BBQ-ready, midnight movie viewing, friend-haven. This weekend, in the midst of all our busy plans, primer will go on the powder blue walls in the kitchen, in preparation for the change to Sunflower yellow.

Each room still needs something done to it before we can call it finished and complete. The living room needs curtains hung, a rug and a coffee table. The man cave needs shelving built and installed. The guest room needs stripes and touch-up paint, as well as final decor touches. The master needs repainted, curtains lifted off the floor, and is in need of major decoration and wall hangings. Each bathroom needs a special touch and new towels. The sun-room need bookshelves built and installed, as well as new desk. And the kitchen, well, it needs the walls painted and a back-splash added. It also needs the husband to stop moving items around in the well-organized chaos.

The yard needs a few more flowers, as well as some potted plants to ward off pesky bugs. The tables on the front porch need finished painted, as well as some decorative additions to make it not look like a clunky piece of furniture. We need our hammock strung up in the back, and we need our water hoses attached. James organized the sheds this past week and nearly all the boxes are done.

As much as we have to do, and as much as we have already accomplished, we are both beyond happy that we are writing this chapter together, as much as a rough draft as it seems. (I apologize for the run-on).

So, to those we welcome into our new home, come with joy, bring your stories, and make yourself at home.

Military Spouse

Being a military spouse does not carry with it many pro's, contrary to popular opinion. You put up with last minute late nights, 24 hours duties, random trainings that last far longer than expected, planned events that have to be canceled and moving to a new location with little to no information prior. When I married James last year, I knew all these things and more and I was certainly not blind to what I was walking into.

So when I agreed to marry James earlier than planned due to upcoming trainings and a deployment that made the timing of our planned wedding questionable, I asked for one thing. A honeymoon. I knew we didn't have time to take one then and I knew having one and paying for a wedding was near impossible, but I asked for a honeymoon. Something that was just for us. The wedding was for our families to see Jayden and my dad to walk me down the aisle, little else. I'm always surprised when I hear complaints from family members about the wedding, because it was largely for them. Anyways.

After the holidays finished, I put my foot down and told James, "I don't ask for much, but Ill be darned if we don't have a honeymoon before our anniversary. It doesn't have to be in another country, it doesn't need to be extravagant. But we need time together without having to worry about anyone or anything else."

James agreed, and began to search and plan for the honeymoon. He found a quaint cabin in the foothills of the Smokies and we put in time to be away long enough for a honeymoon and a visit to his family so we could meet the newest member of the Cheney clan, Elijah Russell, his sister's son.

While in Tennessee, I was able to drag James around to all the places my family had taken me and my middle sister while growing up. To the top of Old Smoky (which lived up to it's name the day we went, misting and fog so thick you couldn't see a thing beyond the tree line), Dollywood and Dixie Stampede. He got marble slab ice cream and I got frozen yogurt after a round of putt-putt (I epically lost). We did a few tours in Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge and Sevierville and brought back a couple items we probably won't ever use again. What was most important, though, was that James and I got to be ourselves with each other for a full week- something I'm not sure we have been able to do in the year we've been married. Now, his family did call during this week, as did some friends, while I remained on radio silence for the majority of the trip, answering only via fb messenger when we waiting on food or driving.

We also decided that if we ever could, we would be quite happy living in the mountains and living (mostly) off the land, in a cabin built for two. It was beyond peaceful and we slept in every day that week, played pool nearly every night, and soaked in the jacuzzi and heart-shaped hot-tub every night. May our future cabin won't have those luxuries, but a cabin would be lovely. 

 Leaving Tennessee, we traveled up to flat-land and stayed in Joliet visiting family and friends. We spent two full days with his family, one out in Chicago to meet up with my bestie and her family, and then wandered around Joliet the last two days with friends and catching up on old times.

After two weeks away from home, walking into our house felt like heaven. We cooked together last night and played Rummikub, a mind-numbing numbers game that my dad got us addicted to. We went to Tybee Island on Sunday to relax with some friends (I napped), and we are back at the workflow now. I have a deadline at the end of the week, had a column to piece together, a last minute meeting yesterday and a dozen others to contact for various reasons. James is back in school and prepping for an upcoming training and we are trying to figure out out next cook-out at the house.

Upcoming, I'm prepping to go back to college and finish off my degree (finally), while also redecorating the house for summer, getting healthy and enjoying a new subscription box from Sips By, a monthly tea subscription box. So far, it's amazing and I'm excited to share it with my other tea-love friends.

As always, I love to hear back from my friends and readers and if there is something you'd like to see my share or write about, let me know!

Ever in love, xoxo
Ashley

Becoming a Strong Family

I think I can speak for many of my friends and family when I say they were surprised when I fell in love and married a man that had a child from a previous marriage. Always known as the "I want a career" and "I want to change the world" woman, suddenly entering a ready-made family was not in the family predictions for my future. I not only fell in love with my dashing husband, but I also fell in love with his mini-me, Jayden. With soft blond hair and piecing blue eyes, the boy looks and acts like his charismatic dad. Quickly approaching four years old, he's all arms and legs, and has no fear when it comes to adventures. When James and I got married last year, we were blessed to have him spend time with us and celebrate together. The majority of the time taken off from both of our jobs was spent either traveling to Germany and back or making memories with Jayden, which daily consisted of Nerf wars and Star War battles, as well as practicing counting by rolling yard dice or reading with stories.

Being a 'step' mom carries with it many stereotypes, all negative, which I've suffered the brunt of even from my own sister. With her own experience as a step mom, and being blessed with two more children later, I truly believed I would receive support and inspiration on how to balance life and create an amazing journey for all my children, as they come. However, due to her having a bad experience with her birth children's step mom, I often was treated or spoken to in an unkind way as she projected her hurt onto me. That's unkind and unfair, and more hurtful than words can say. As I have entered into this new-type family, I have been very careful to respect roles and honor who each parent is. I think Jayden's mom, and step-dad, have done a great job with Jayden. He's super smart, kind and adventurous. But just as much as I am proud of how well they have begun to raise him, I also am excited to participate in his life. I knew when I married James, this was a package deal. 

When I first met Jayden's mother, and step-dad, it was awkward, as expected. But we each agreed that we would do what is best for Jayden, despite personal feelings and struggles. As parents, all four us have a job to do. That job is to make sure Jayden grows up peacefully and joyfully and that we create a life that is as fair for him as possible. None of us ever wanted to be in this situation, no one ever would. But we are, and as uncomfortable as it is, we must always strive to do what is best for our child. James and I care just as much as Jayden's mom and step-dad, however we do not have the joy of participating in his every day life. His happiness, his sadness, good times and bad, we do not get to experience on a daily, or even monthly basis. His education and core memories, we are barely able to participate in. This is the cost of co-parenting internationally, much less when you're a military family with full-time jobs.

I think our situation is unique, but not without it's own blessings. Each of us are followers of Christ, each of us have traveled or lived overseas for a portion of our lives, and I honestly believe that if we weren't in this situation, we would all be close friends. But as with all things parenting, everyone has an opinion, and in this case, it's multiplied. One thing I made clear to my family and something James and I discussed is that how Jayden is raised and how we handle this is between us an and Jayden's other parents. We have no desire for Jayden to see any of bickering over him, as children often begin to believe that they are the problem, when that's never the case. My parents, and extended family have no place in James and my relationship, nor in Jayden. they can love and care for us. Visit and pray for us. But for either of our families to attempt to call the shots on something that is our own responsibility to take care of is something James and I made a strict rule about.

At the end of the day, Jayden has two sets of parents. For good or bad, it's our job to turn that into the best possible blessing. We all care about Jayden as our #1 priority and each must strive to go out of our way in order to ensure he is loved by all us throughout the year.

Anyway...those are my thoughts, through my looking glass...
xoxo
Ashley

My favorite things: Ingredients

I think every cook has a list of items in their kitchen that are essential to make a meal work. I have my own magic that I rely on, and would like to share these with you.

My spice cabinet is a growing monster that I heartily advise all people to invest in. What I noticed upon coming back into the States was that my wonderful Southern food fare often had similar flavors. There isn't a great amount of diversity in what we call 'American' cuisine down here, and I missed the constant zing to my palate. To remedy this worry, I began to expand my grocery list of needs and several times a month try to pick up a new spice or ingredient to add to our home.

A few resources that I find invaluable are TJ Maxx and The Salt Table. Both have locations near to me, in Hinesville, Pooler and Savannah. I make a habit of checking those stores for international items, and recently added a jar of lemongrass to my collection (I just found an Asian grocer that carries it fresh). Recently, I oven roasted my first pork shoulder with the River Street Rib Rub from The Salt Table. I browsed the store for about an hour before finally choosing it as my rub to experiment with. With a dash of pink Himalayan salt and black pepper, all I had to do was wait and baste for 3 hours on 350 degrees. Can I brag for a moment on how tender, juicy and flavorful that was? We are still eating on that meat a couple days later.

Another valuable source are ethnic grocery stores. These can be intimidating if you've never cooked that type of food before, much less been in a store like that before. I like to do research before I head in, with a list of several items I will need for a couple recipes I want to try. That way you're not overwhelmed by the options and variety when you enter. You can also always ask the grocer how to make a certain dish and get the inside scoop. And don't just go to one! I found lotus root at one grocer while at another I found all my basic Asian ingredients (shao xing wine, black sesame sauce, etc.). Variety IS the spice of life, so take advantage of it when you can. Know your basic grocers and what they carry and expand into the different ethnic ones near you. I know Atlanta has an infamous amount of ethnic food markets, but since I'm not a fan of the traffic, I stick to Savannah as my main hub for expanding my cabinet.

Okay, so let's get down to my Top Ten must-have ingredients.
1) Jasmine Rice. A touch more expensive than you basic white right rice, it has nice floral fragrance to it and plumps up perfect for any dish that has rice as a main ingredient. I honestly don't buy any other rice.

2) Fresh Garlic. Yes, it's much easier to buy the minced kind in a jr (looking at you, Dad) but nothing compares to freshly minced garlic simmering in oil in a wok. It gives off a fresh aroma that is incomparable. Smell is the first part of tasting, so drawing out those oils within the herbs and such is key to a successful dish.

3) Fresh Herbs. These add so much to a dish. I was raised on dried herds (which have their place and I have plenty in stock) but adding fresh oregano onto a ciabatta roll with your fresh garlic.... garlic salt and dried herbs don't quite cut it after that. Always bruise your herbs before adding them to a dish, as that helps to release their natural flavors and oils as well. Learn which ones have a stronger flavor and how to place them in dishes so they compliment the other flavors. I don't like to combine oregano with rosemary because they're both such strong flavors. However, sage or thyme make for a nice side piece to either of those notes. I prefer to keep oregano, basil, sage and dill on hand, and pick the others up as needed. If you're making sliders or sandwiches, dill is an awesome addition to an easy lemon and sour cream mixture, with a dash of salt.

4) Hummus. I love this and can happily munch on naan bread with a side of hummus as dinner any day of the week. Hinesville has a local farmers market and there's a lovely fellow that sells Hummus and other such items at his booth every week, come April. Tribe 40 spice is another favorite of mine, and normally if I'm having people over, there's always hummus and naan. By the way, I just found a great recipe for homemade naan that I'm super stoked to try!

5) Greek Seasoning. This is a dried herb mixture, which really helps when you're in a pinch and don't have any fresh herbs on hand. I love cooking chicken breasts with it and creating a lemon and cream herd sauce over either angel hair pasta or a healthier option, spaghetti squash.

6) Specialty Bread. My go to is Ciabatta, but a good brioche or Italian works as well. I've used these breads for everything between garlic bread, panini's or burger buns. You are limited only by your own creativity! I like to broil on high for a couple minutes or bake at 350 degrees to get a nice crispy texture. This ensures that the bread holds up to anything you put on it. If you use a soft bread (Italian) and put something juicy on it, the bread will weaken and break, creating a mess you didn't need. Experiment with different breads and flavors and find your favorite.

7) Canned Biscuits. My husband's favorite breakfast is biscuits and gravy, and southern though I may be, handmade biscuits I do not. So these are simple to pop in the oven on a Saturday morning while mixing together the sausage gravy. Also, if you need a simple breakfast, or dessert, cut the uncooked biscuits into quarters and drop into hot oil. This will make some lovely donuts. Once they are browned, drain them on some paper towels and sprinkle a little salt over them. Serve with powdered sugar or chocolate icing (my favorite).

8) Honey. Fresh, local honey does wonders for the immune system and it does wonders for your meals too. Savannah Bee Company carries a variety of locally sourced honeys and spreads that add a layer of sweetness to any dish. My personal fave is the lavender honey. Whether you're using it in tea, over biscuits or pancakes, there's such a great floral and sweetness than other honeys don't have. Another great use of honey for savory dishes is drizzling it over thick-cut bacon. You haven't tasted heaven until you have that, and I'm not even a bacon fan. Also, the honey is great to use in rubs and glazes for any type of meat you happen to be choosing to cook. Our current neighbor also sources his own honey and we get that as well. The flavor is different from the lavender honey, and a goal of mine to have a small shelf filled with different honeys.

9) Baby Carrots. Growing up, I was never a fan of carrots no matter how many times I watched Bugs Bunny chomp down on them. That was until I learned to roast the tough vegetable with a light coating of olive oil, salt and pepper. It takes about 30-45 minutes, depending on how thick the carrots are, hence why I use baby carrots. Once they're done, they are succulent and flavorful, and not the hard texture they were prior. James and I use these as our go-to as a side dish for when we make burgers or sandwiches. They are a healthy alternative to potato chips or fresh oven fried potato fries.

10) Mushrooms. I use mushrooms for nearly any dish possible. Their earthy flavor and soft texture add depth to a cream sauce, meat to a marinara or bulks up a good taco filling. The quickest way I cook them is placing them in a pan with a pat of butter, freshly minced garlic, garlic salt and pepper and turn on medium to medium high heat and cook until they are soft but browned. Then you can add them to whatever sauce you're cooking, etc. You can also throw some onions in there as well, and use as a burger topping or in a quesadilla.

Well, there it is. My top ten ingredients I cannot do without. What are some of yours?

XOXO
Ashley

My Favorite Things: Coffee Life

I love coffee. For those that knew me five years ago, you would know that I was not a drinker of the coffee. I did love going to Starbucks and ordering the chai latte, and my favorite drink was the caramel macchiato (minus the espresso). Most baristas did me the favor of not making me feel like an idiot and simply made the drink without comment. That was until I grabbed my signature drink before my flight to Hong Kong. The snotty barista informed me that I must be wanting a steamed milk with caramel. I glared at her, and said sure. I went from feeling like an adult to a small child that quick.

Once I reached my destination in Hong Kong and seen that nearly everyone on the mission base drank coffee, I felt the need to somehow become a part of this world. I started small, with the instant Nescafe grounds, 1/4 tsp. at a time with loads of sugar and milk. My ivory skin was often darker than the color of my coffee. Slowly, over months of gradually increasing the amount of instant coffee to sugar milk ratio, I became a coffee drinker.

By the time I left Hong Kong, I could drink the strongest coffee available. A staff member of the base made coffee the color of a lost soul with the depth of hell of itself and offered it to me during a meeting. No sugar or cream was available, and to me it was the moment I truly felt like I had made it into the coffee-drinking world. My now signature drink is the caramel macchiato with an extra shot of espresso, with a sprinkle of vanilla on top. I get no sneer from the people behind the counter, and I also get a nice boost of energy. It makes my day that much brighter, and is a rare treat that I'm often dragging James towards. He understands my obsession with coffee much like I understand his obsession with Funko Pop figurines.

My home boasts of several coffee-making options. My father purchased my first coffee-mate when I moved into my apartment two years ago. He knew I loved coffee, and he also wanted to make sure I had a way to make a pot of coffee anytime him and the wife visited. It's now top priority that when they are on their way to the house, I dust off the coffee-mate and brew a fresh pot of Folgers and set out the powdered cream and sugar.

Shortly after I moved into the apartment, I found a 1st generation red Keurig for sale on a Facebook yard sale group. I was quick to snatch it up, and now enjoy  fresh cup of hazlenut coffee on the way to work on the weekdays. I'm a serial snooze-button pusher, so the Keurig has been a life-saver many a morning. I keep a small amount of k-cup hot coco on hand for James, but don't care for the hot tea k-cups. I prefer my hot tea fresh, not packaged.

My next treasure is a wedding gift I received from a friend at my home church in Alma. It's an Italian espresso maker, which looks like a small stove-top kettle. I had never seen one of these and was excited to try it. Pretty straightforward, you fill the bottom half with water and then fill a small funnel with fresh ground coffee beans. Heat on the stove and you have a glorious cup of espresso or an intense cup of coffee if that's how you drink it (like me). It's proudly displayed on my coffee cart in our dining room, and until recently, was used every weekend for a peaceful morning cup of fancy joe.

When TJ Maxx opened up in Hinesville this past month, I quickly pursued James to join me for the christening of the new store. Upon searching through their fresh aisles, we found several copper treasures for the kitchen. Primarily, a copper french press. This is especially important because I had been wanting one for about two years now but hadn't found one I loved that I could also afford. That deathly strong coffee I drank at the end of my time in Hong Kong had been brewed in a french press, my lovely Emily brewed our coffee in one as well upon our last visit to the windy city (Chicago) and I enjoyed the fresh brew at  Three Tree Coffee Roasters in Statesboro while listening to Sarah of True Justice International share her passion and organization fighting against human trafficking in the south-east region of America.

In the back of my mind, I associated the french press with the truest of coffee lovers and had hoped people would see it on our wedding registry. Alas, the wedding came and went and the french press was not one of the many beautiful gifts we received. I began hunting and searching, and after long last, I now own a gorgeous copper french press to add to my coffee cart and life. I enjoyed this kitchen joy last week, and was not let down. It does involve more work, in my opinion, than the ones listed above, but it is Instagram gold (copper if you will).

At the end of the week, it is a ritual I look forward to. Sitting on the swing in our backyard, watching the birds hop around our bird feeders brings a peace into the chaos of being a military wife. Things often change by the day, by the hour, and it is essential to maintain something 'normal' to keep going with. The simple moments, the simple things (such as a coffee maker collection) can help to ground us and experience joy in the moment it happens. That's how memories are made.

XOXO
Ashley