Being a military spouse does not carry with it many pro's, contrary to popular opinion. You put up with last minute late nights, 24 hours duties, random trainings that last far longer than expected, planned events that have to be canceled and moving to a new location with little to no information prior. When I married James last year, I knew all these things and more and I was certainly not blind to what I was walking into.
So when I agreed to marry James earlier than planned due to upcoming trainings and a deployment that made the timing of our planned wedding questionable, I asked for one thing. A honeymoon. I knew we didn't have time to take one then and I knew having one and paying for a wedding was near impossible, but I asked for a honeymoon. Something that was just for us. The wedding was for our families to see Jayden and my dad to walk me down the aisle, little else. I'm always surprised when I hear complaints from family members about the wedding, because it was largely for them. Anyways.
After the holidays finished, I put my foot down and told James, "I don't ask for much, but Ill be darned if we don't have a honeymoon before our anniversary. It doesn't have to be in another country, it doesn't need to be extravagant. But we need time together without having to worry about anyone or anything else."
James agreed, and began to search and plan for the honeymoon. He found a quaint cabin in the foothills of the Smokies and we put in time to be away long enough for a honeymoon and a visit to his family so we could meet the newest member of the Cheney clan, Elijah Russell, his sister's son.
While in Tennessee, I was able to drag James around to all the places my family had taken me and my middle sister while growing up. To the top of Old Smoky (which lived up to it's name the day we went, misting and fog so thick you couldn't see a thing beyond the tree line), Dollywood and Dixie Stampede. He got marble slab ice cream and I got frozen yogurt after a round of putt-putt (I epically lost). We did a few tours in Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge and Sevierville and brought back a couple items we probably won't ever use again. What was most important, though, was that James and I got to be ourselves with each other for a full week- something I'm not sure we have been able to do in the year we've been married. Now, his family did call during this week, as did some friends, while I remained on radio silence for the majority of the trip, answering only via fb messenger when we waiting on food or driving.
We also decided that if we ever could, we would be quite happy living in the mountains and living (mostly) off the land, in a cabin built for two. It was beyond peaceful and we slept in every day that week, played pool nearly every night, and soaked in the jacuzzi and heart-shaped hot-tub every night. May our future cabin won't have those luxuries, but a cabin would be lovely.
Leaving Tennessee, we traveled up to flat-land and stayed in Joliet visiting family and friends. We spent two full days with his family, one out in Chicago to meet up with my bestie and her family, and then wandered around Joliet the last two days with friends and catching up on old times.
After two weeks away from home, walking into our house felt like heaven. We cooked together last night and played Rummikub, a mind-numbing numbers game that my dad got us addicted to. We went to Tybee Island on Sunday to relax with some friends (I napped), and we are back at the workflow now. I have a deadline at the end of the week, had a column to piece together, a last minute meeting yesterday and a dozen others to contact for various reasons. James is back in school and prepping for an upcoming training and we are trying to figure out out next cook-out at the house.
Upcoming, I'm prepping to go back to college and finish off my degree (finally), while also redecorating the house for summer, getting healthy and enjoying a new subscription box from Sips By, a monthly tea subscription box. So far, it's amazing and I'm excited to share it with my other tea-love friends.
As always, I love to hear back from my friends and readers and if there is something you'd like to see my share or write about, let me know!
Ever in love, xoxo
Ashley
Showing posts with label america. Show all posts
Showing posts with label america. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
International Women's Day
What began as a comment on a friend's Facebook post and what was turning into a Facebook status, I realized I might as well take this to the blog.
Today is International Women's Day, which is meant to celebrate the impact women have had in history and the impact we have every day in every country. Yes, we in America have gained many freedoms that others still have yet to obtain. However, the U.S.A. is not without flaws and internationally women's rights are still being violated every day.
In answer to the questions of what are women in America fighting for, what rights do we not yet have or fear being taken away, here is my answer:
I'm sure the suffragettes faced similar opposition decades ago when rising up about voting rights. Horrible crimes were being committed internationally and on U.S. soil. Were these women wrong to make such bold statements, fight against the norm and what was acceptable? Were they wrong to fight against the low expectations and fight for higher dreams? Of course not! But hindsight is 20/20 and it's easy to see why they were right when we aren't standing in their shoes.
The issues being fought for now are not any different. Here in America, sexism runs rampant in our streets, schools and businesses. Women are still looked over for certain jobs and promotions because they are women, rather than comparing skill set. We balance our male bosses, coworkers and customers with flirtation because it is expected and unacceptable to behave otherwise. We struggle to remain relevant in all areas and prove our knowledge in places men aren't required to. We struggle to remain relevant in all areas and prove our knowledge in places men aren't required to. That's how we get the job done. We learn from a young age to avert our eyes from the gaze of older men and to dress to not attract attention for fear of safety. If we dare to dress in what is perceived as provocative, we are blamed for assaults and rapes, yet this is rarely (if ever) a fear of men or cause for mention in court of law for assaults against men. These norms and worries are not a part of the other half of America. This is a portion of what American women are fighting against, so that the future generations don't have to.
When women marched on Washington and throughout the world in January, I was proud of my sex. I was proud that we wouldn't remain silent in the face of misogyny and blatant sexism. I was proud that we had finally had enough of the unjust justice system as it continually released and refused to punish rapists while still shaming or ignoring the survivor. I was proud that we declared our daughters and grand-daughters would no longer have to suffer with the base expectations placed upon us by others. I was proud that we have begun to call out those that would have us remain as lambs when that's not what we were created to be. No person, no matter how great their perceived power, can reduce that pride that I felt as a woman.
Yes we've come a long way, but we have a long way to go. I honor the women who have fought in years past, and I honor my sisters who fight now. Both here in America and globally.
XOXO
Ashley
Today is International Women's Day, which is meant to celebrate the impact women have had in history and the impact we have every day in every country. Yes, we in America have gained many freedoms that others still have yet to obtain. However, the U.S.A. is not without flaws and internationally women's rights are still being violated every day.
In answer to the questions of what are women in America fighting for, what rights do we not yet have or fear being taken away, here is my answer:
I'm sure the suffragettes faced similar opposition decades ago when rising up about voting rights. Horrible crimes were being committed internationally and on U.S. soil. Were these women wrong to make such bold statements, fight against the norm and what was acceptable? Were they wrong to fight against the low expectations and fight for higher dreams? Of course not! But hindsight is 20/20 and it's easy to see why they were right when we aren't standing in their shoes.
The issues being fought for now are not any different. Here in America, sexism runs rampant in our streets, schools and businesses. Women are still looked over for certain jobs and promotions because they are women, rather than comparing skill set. We balance our male bosses, coworkers and customers with flirtation because it is expected and unacceptable to behave otherwise. We struggle to remain relevant in all areas and prove our knowledge in places men aren't required to. We struggle to remain relevant in all areas and prove our knowledge in places men aren't required to. That's how we get the job done. We learn from a young age to avert our eyes from the gaze of older men and to dress to not attract attention for fear of safety. If we dare to dress in what is perceived as provocative, we are blamed for assaults and rapes, yet this is rarely (if ever) a fear of men or cause for mention in court of law for assaults against men. These norms and worries are not a part of the other half of America. This is a portion of what American women are fighting against, so that the future generations don't have to.
When women marched on Washington and throughout the world in January, I was proud of my sex. I was proud that we wouldn't remain silent in the face of misogyny and blatant sexism. I was proud that we had finally had enough of the unjust justice system as it continually released and refused to punish rapists while still shaming or ignoring the survivor. I was proud that we declared our daughters and grand-daughters would no longer have to suffer with the base expectations placed upon us by others. I was proud that we have begun to call out those that would have us remain as lambs when that's not what we were created to be. No person, no matter how great their perceived power, can reduce that pride that I felt as a woman.
Yes we've come a long way, but we have a long way to go. I honor the women who have fought in years past, and I honor my sisters who fight now. Both here in America and globally.
XOXO
Ashley
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